There are times in my life when there’s nothing harder than being still. That’s because I’ve spent most of my life running. Either towards my goals or away from my insecurities. Over time I unknowingly grew most comfortable in this state of movement.
The problem with this constant movement is the absence of reflection and rest that occurs as a byproduct.
This week I found myself briefly slipping back into that way of being. As a teacher, student and coach, the end of winter break marks a stark shift from rest to grind. I’m working on transitioning better but I still struggle.
This time around, I found myself going days without journaling and meditating while singularly prioritizing completing the tasks on my checklist. As a result, I have a completed checklist and the unsettling feeling of being out of touch with my emotions.
We work best when we allow for flexibility in our habits. Instead of gritting your teeth and forcing your body and mind to work punishing hours and “lean in” until you reach your goals, the counterintuitive solution might be to walk away. Pushing harder isn’t helping us anymore.
-Celeste Headlee
Missing a few journal entries doesn’t create this sense of confusion but the anxiety-induced productivity that causes those missed entries almost always does.
Thankfully I caught myself relatively early in the process but the work of recalibrating is still at hand. And it’s never easy. In fact, I find it highly uncomfortable because I know it requires me to be still.
Reflections
What season of life do you find yourself in right now?
How do you generally handle busy seasons of life?
How do you know when you’re off balance?
"There are times in my life when there’s nothing harder than being still. That’s because I’ve spent most of my life running. Either towards my goals or away from my insecurities. Over time I unknowingly grew most comfortable in this state of movement. "
I'm in it right now. I've been an avid meditator for 4 years and it's never been harder to stay still. Any recommendations?
Last year I went through a phase of unhealthy productivity, where I scratched the edge of burnout. But is was important, because I learned a lot about myself and enjoyed the rest of the year only focusing on where my instincts want to lead me. Out of this, regularly posting my writing online blossomed. It‘s again a lot of work, but I don’t feel this pressure anymore because last year created these mental guidelines. Now it’s just excitement. Creating a mission statement for myself is also big part of the inner calmness I feel now, but that’s probably a longer topic for a post 😅