Performing.

poems

This week I found myself reflecting back on my time in middle school. The time when I began transforming myself from the shy kid who made his home on the edges of a room into a performer who could stand in the middle of it.

The poems below are the result of those reflections.

I.

Trying to fit in

looked like

belonging

before it

tasted like

loss.

II.

I kept performing

because laughter

felt closer to love

than silence ever did.

I kept performing

until I learned

applause could still

leave me lonely.

III.

I made myself

easier to like

but it only

made the mirror

harder to trust.

I’m no longer sure if I was shy or just afraid to be seen. Either way, it’s taken time to learn how to stop performing and to just be. To stop believing the lie that my worth is determined by the applause I receive. To understand I don’t need the laughter of others to fill every room I enter.

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Thank you for reading. Your attention is a gift. And I appreciate you spending a bit of it on my words. If you are looking for other poems to enjoy, below are a handful I’ve loved sitting with this week:

• the land of lost dreams by kaylen alexandra examines a woman’s journeys through her abandoned dreams.

• if i were loved by Diamonde reflects on longing rooted in growing up without love in the home.

• ...Well? by Jed Meyers resists the false hope of easy reassurances.

• A poem by Yunchieh Chang on the value of presence over gossip.

• Saint of Small Defiances by A. G. Giberson | Poet is a powerful anthem for women remaining wild.

• Self-sabotage by Rachel Leeke Alexis is a honest haiku with a twist.

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