Secret Scars.

030

In 1992 the Dream Team ignited international basketball, Prince blessed the world with Love Symbol and the tip of my pinky finger was partially sliced off.

My mom describing the accident:

We were in Taco Bell and I was washing my hands. I looked around and noticed you’d snuck off. At that time (2 years old), you loved playing in toilet water so I had a pretty good guess of where you were when I heard splashing. I immediately went to grab you but when I shut the stall door your pinky finger got caught in the crack. As soon as I saw the blood I ran you out to the car and rushed to the emergency room. To this day, I’m still not sure I buckled you in.

I have no recollection of that day or the pain I experienced. What I do remember is the embarrassment I felt regarding my disfigured pinky later in life. And how intentional I was about keeping it hidden from others.

Twenty-seven years after my accident I found myself in a meeting before the start of my first year teaching. The principal had compiled a list of questions in a small bucket for us to pick from. I was the first to pull out one of the crumbled sheets of paper, “What is one random fact about you that might surprise others?”

Then, without thinking, I blurted out, “Part of my pinky was cut off and sewn back on when I was two years old.” 

“Why the hell did I just say that?” I thought. As I began ruminating on my Freudian slip, I was hit with my first, “Can I see it?”

I obliged, only pretending to be unfazed by the request. What happened next blew me away.

Instead of being taken aback, my teammates shared stories of their scars. And how they used makeup, bangs and long sleeves to cover them.

I didn’t recognize that moment for what it was then but a few years of internal work and dozens of deep conversations with friends later, I now see the truth. We all have scars and those scars hold stories.

I’m still working on what it looks like to give my stories, and the scars that embody them, life through my words. As I do, I’m leaning into this idea:

Words reach scars.

Words don’t reach people because they’ve been placed in perfectly structured sentences. They reach them because of the humanity they reveal – scars and all.

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I love creating found notes but this week I needed a change of pace. So, I started sharing short notes with some of the lessons I’ve learned on my creative journey. I enjoyed making them more than I expected. Here are a few if you’d like to check them out:

• Want more people to enjoy your art?

• What do you want to say?

• When GPS is useless.

As always, thank you for joining me in this space. Your time and presence here is truly appreciated.